college essay

a) I chose this essay because its something that i really love and that interests me. Horses really express who i am as a person
b) I think my essay has good detail, it full fills my point
c) It may  sound too "listy" maybe make it flow better
d) does my first paragraph seem to not go? also, does my essay seem to argumentative?




 The wind blowing through my hair, and the exhilaration of the power and strength I suddenly have. I can feel his muscles underneath me as he floats through the air.

               Many people ask me what sports I play, and I tell them that I am an equestrian. Most people think it's not even a sport, that it requires no skill, and all you do is just "sit" there. Many don't think of us as much of athletes at all, but I tell myself otherwise, because I know better. I know that it's much more than that, but some people are just too naive to understand.

               To trust something so unpredictable, something that has a mind of its own, is something so much more than trusting a human being. Falling from twenty feet up, going thirty miles an hour, brushing yourself off, and climbing back up in the saddle without shedding a tear. It's what I call fearless. The courage to be able to run full speed at a solid obstacle, hoping your horse will jump over something taller than the both of you.

               It's not just about riding around in a circle, a horse is such a smart and talented animal. No one thinks a team of horse and rider can do half the things we are capable of. To be able to preform an intricate dance on an animal that doesn't speak your language, to slide to a complete halt in two seconds flat, or to be able to attempt a handstand on a moving creature that could turn on you at any second. Horses have a mind of their own, and as equestrians we are able to connect with them in a way that no one else can.

               Before people underestimate us, they should think to themselves, have you ever had a team mate that was five times the size of you? Or had a connection with a 1300 pound animal? I risk my life every day for this sport, but it makes me a stronger, more responsible person. My horse and I help each other get over our fears. We work hard to be able to do what some people call just riding, hours a day every day a week. To be a true rider is to be courageous, responsible, dedicated, fearless, and always up to tackle a new challenge. to ride a horse is anything, and everything but easy.